Homesick

The night before we left the Netherlands, I awoke at about 4:30 a.m. with the word "homesick" bouncing around in my brain as if I had just awaken from a dream that seems absolutely real. I hadn't even left the country yet and I was already feeling homesick for the place I was leaving.

At church on Sunday in Phoenix someone asked me why I like the Netherlands so much and I struggled to find words for it. I finally said "things just make sense there" and cited examples like road signs that make sense, roundabouts that keep traffic moving  instead of traffic lights, universal healthcare. All of those things are true enough for me, and yet they don't really convey that it's just a place where I feel like I belong.

Tonight we went out to Wildflower Bread Company (our favorite local restaurant) and afterward walked to the New Frontiers market a block away. It's a walk we probably make once a week, and yet everything seemed alien and out of place somehow. We took a bike ride this afternoon and the traffic around me really seemed busier than my experience in the Netherlands, plus it was really striking how different it feels to ride in a place where bicycles are viewed as second-class, recreational things, instead of a real mode of transportation.

I suppose that some of this is more about the change from vacation back to day-to-day job responsibilities than anything else, yet somehow it really feels different.

I keep telling myself that if I really relocated it would be quite different than it seems when I'm visiting. On top of that is the reality that I would not see the children and grandchildren that I love often enough. Skype is no substitute for helping your grand-daughter do back-flips off your shoulders, or hearing how Eve's talking has improved since we last saw her, or seeing Nate's latest Lego creation, or hearing Ellie wake up singing "opee Opa, omee Oma" to a tune of her own making. Those are the kinds of things that are important, and the scenery they are set against just doesn't really matter much.

Reflecting back on the trip, there were lots of neat things to see, but the things that really stand out are the people. Jan and Elles open their home and invite us in for an afternoon visit just because the building is the windmill where my great-grandmother was born. Harm & Baudina took time from their busy schedules to have us come by to visit, share a meal, and hear their children lead us in a prayer of thanks before the meal. Our hosts Jan and Jannie were much more than "landlords" and became people that we truly care about. The congregation at the English Reformed Church was warm, friendly, and obviously a very alive fellowship of believers that made us feel at home, and energized our faith. Those are the memories that stick with you long after you've forgotten what that painting in the Rijksmuseum looked like.

So tomorrow it's back to work. We'll see how it goes...